Mix 4 cups of sugar with 6 cups of white flour. Cut in 2 sticks of margarine with a TV remote control. Slowly stir in 265 pounds of obesity. Moisten with a liter of a soda of your choice mixed with an equal volume of fruit juice. Finely chop two of your favorite candy bars and add to mixture. Sprinkle a few years of sedentary lifestyle over the entire mixture, stirring again with a remote control. Add a tincture of aging. Allow to sit on a 72 degree couch for 5 to 10 years.
Makes: One Type 2 Diabetic